


The Stranger in My Friend

by WhosePOV



Series: Loners Together [4]
Category: A Gifted Man, Joker (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Male Friendship, Platonic Soulmates, Some Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24937003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhosePOV/pseuds/WhosePOV
Summary: Part 1: After a hostile incident in a hardware store, Anton Little Creek meets Joker for the first time.Part 2: While reflecting on his own past, Arthur learns that Anton isn't easygoing all the time, and sometimes even honest people lie to themselves.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck|Joker & Anton Little Creek
Series: Loners Together [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768006
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Part 1: Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> The Stranger in My Friend references Loners By Design, but can be read as a stand alone because it’s really just a further exploration of Arthur and Anton’s friendship. Thank you for reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a hostile incident in a hardware store, Anton Little Creek meets Joker for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This interaction between Anton and Arthur takes place between chapter twenty-four and chapter twenty-five of Loners By Design.

Arthur’s soul had open wounds when he and Anton first met--wounds that had been inflicted long ago and never allowed to heal. Years of being victimized and subjected to physical and psychic attacks had torn his energetic body, but even in that state, Anton had felt Arthur’s strength. Despite his insecurity, Arthur had the potential to influence people in ways he probably couldn’t imagine. Anton had also felt the conflict in Arthur--the darkness and the light. His spiritual struggle was painful to witness, and all too clear to Anton. 

Anton appreciates the uniqueness of souls, and Arthur’s is particularly beautiful to him. They connected immediately. 

Though just a few short months have passed since they met at the Clinica Sanando where Anton works as a handyman and spiritual healer for those in need of guidance, Arthur has blossomed in many ways. He has gone from a victim to a man in control of his own life. His aura has changed as his spiritual wounds have finally started to heal. All this has happened because Arthur has been willing to acknowledge his limits and accept help. Anton admires that. So many people refuse to admit they need help, whether due to fear or excessive pride or countless other reasons. 

Arthur hasn’t merely been willing to accept help--he had searched for it in vain, until the day a stranger--now Arthur’s partner in business and life--brought him to the clinica after he had been left beaten in an alley. That had changed Arthur's life, and Anton's as well. 

The thing about soulmates is a person can have more than one, and soulmate doesn’t necessarily mean bedmate.

Anton knows Arthur. He sees his aura. He’s seen him laugh and cry--sometimes both at once. He’s watched him perform his clown act for free at the clinica, just to keep sick children entertained in the crowded lobby while waiting to be seen by a doctor. Arthur has shared something else with him, though. Something even more personal.

Joker.

Not just the character Arthur created--the one whose act Anton has never seen. Arthur tells him he won’t like it, so technically, Anton hasn’t met Joker, but he’s sensed him. Not long ago, Arthur allowed Anton to guide him on a spiritual journey so that he could better understand Joker. 

Anton knows what Joker is capable of, but he also knows that Arthur controls him. 

Anton had once told Arthur that darkness is part of everyone--and he meant it.

Anton knows that even though he hasn’t met him, Joker is real, not just an act. He also knows that someday, their paths will cross.

Today Anton is on his way to help Arthur with renovations at Clown Kingdom, the thriving new business he started with his girlfriend, Nicole. 

When he arrives, Arthur meets him at the entrance--a glass door cheerfully painted in rainbow colors. Arthur is relatively short. Since Anton stands well over six feet tall, most people seem vertically challenged to him. Arthur’s skinny frame is deceptive, though. He’s wiry and far stronger than he looks. Anton remembers restraining him after the spiritual journey in which they both discovered Joker’s capacity for violence. Despite their size difference, Arthur had been nearly impossible to hold. Sometimes Anton isn’t sure if the physical or emotional embrace kept Arthur from wriggling away. Not that it matters. At least he had stayed to listen and realize that he has control of his--and Joker’s--actions and that he isn’t alone.

Arthur is dressed in a long-sleeved T-shirt and paint-stained jeans. His longish hair is a mess of unkempt brown waves. There’s something ragdoll-ish about him. Something sweet and disarming. Also something that could--and has--marked him as a target. It’s not a fault of his, but one on the part of the bullies. Sadly too many people attempt to prey on those with perceived weaknesses. Such people most likely suffer from their own soul-sickness, but that doesn’t help their victims. 

“Hey, Anton.” Arthur smiles.

“Hello, my friend. Ready to get supplies?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They fall into step beside each other on their way to the hardware store. It’s a short walk, and they need just a few odds and ends, so a vehicle isn’t necessary. 

They step down an aisle to buy nails. A muscular red-headed man in a leather vest and jeans backs into them.

“What the hell? Watch where you’re walkin’ assho--” The guy’s angry voice fades when he turns and tilts his gaze up to Anton. His scowl shifts to an uneasy smile. “Sorry, man.”

“No problem,” Anton replies evenly.

The guy steps aside, allowing Anton and Arthur to select what they need.

It takes just moments for them to find their supplies and head to the register. 

“I forgot we’ll need some tape,” Anton says. He leaves Arthur briefly. On his way back to the register, he notices Arthur waiting his turn, but the redheaded guy cuts him off, practically shoving him aside to make his purchase.

Arthur’s green eyes narrow slightly with annoyance, but he says politely, “Excuse me. I was next.”

“Fuck off.”

Color rises along the ridges of Arthur’s prominent cheekbones. 

Anton approaches, and his stomach tightens. He feels something from Arthur he hasn’t felt in a long time--darkness. Rage. Danger.

“What’s wrong with you? That’s so rude.” Arthur’s eyes flash and he steps toward the guy, but Anton rests a hand on his shoulder.

“If he’s in that much of a hurry, let him go,” Anton says.

The redhead smirks. “I guess big doesn’t mean tough.”

Anton smiles indulgently. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself.”

It’s not that Anton is afraid, and it’s not that he doesn’t have a temper, but there’s no reason to drink the same spiritual poison that’s tainted this guy. Not over who goes first in a checkout line. 

Beneath Anton’s hand, Arthur’s bony shoulder tenses. Anger simmers. His energy darkens. 

Anton remembers Arthur’s vision about Joker. 

The redhead’s gaze drifts to Anton’s hand that’s now lightly rubbing Arthur’s shoulder. He smirks, and on his way out the door says, “See ya, ladies.”

Arthur tenses even more. He chokes back laughter, but it explodes in uncontrollable spasms. It’s not his fault. He has a condition.

Anton takes the supplies from him and pays while Arthur leaves the store.

By the time Anton joins him outside, Arthur’s laughter has stopped, but his face is tense, his lips pressed into a grim line. To someone who doesn’t know him better, his green eyes might look vacant, but Anton knows Arthur’s thoughts are churning. He’s still angry.

“Why do people assume if a man touches another man they’re together like that?”

“You mean sexually?” Anton smiles slightly. “Who cares what people think? And even if we were, would it matter?”

“No, but that’s not what I meant.”

“That man is struggling.”

“He’s a rude jerk.”

Anton grins. “That too.”

Back at Clown Kingdom, Anton goes to work on a partition to create a bigger dressing room since Arthur and Nicole will soon hire more clowns. Arthur steps into the bathroom.

It occurs to Anton that Arthur has been in there for quite a while. He’s about to knock when the door opens.

Arthur stares up at him with a strange, almost eerie smile. It’s not so much the grin that signals that something has shifted, but the feeling he emanates and the change in his aura. It’s similar to what happened at the hardware store, before his laughing episode.

Anton isn’t afraid, but he realizes he must be careful. This meeting was inevitable, but still surprising, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Thanks for coming here today, Anton, but maybe it’s better if you go.” Arthur shrugs his shoulders, not in a downhearted way, but in a sensual manner, almost a slow shimmy.

Tilting his head slightly, Anton continues gazing into Arthur’s eyes. They gleam between a frame of thick lashes. Anton asks calmly, “Why, my friend?”

“Because I don’t think you’re going to like me.” Arthur moistens his lips with the tip of his tongue.

Anton offers a slight but reassuring smile. “I already like you.”

“You’ve never actually met me. I’ve kept you away for that reason. You only know my quiet side.” Arthur’s smile broadens. His eyes hold Anton captive. He couldn’t look away if he wanted to.

“I know about you.”

Joker shakes his head, his smile fading and his eyes wide. “It’s not the same thing--knowing _about_ and _knowing_. You won’t like me.”

“You just said yourself I don’t know you. How can you decide whether I like you or not without giving me a chance?”

“This is kind of--unexpected.” Joker’s brow furrows. “I’m not dressed for this.”

Arthur has said that Joker has qualities he likes, but he has trouble bringing them forth without his clown costume. His doctor says he can learn to do it, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. 

Something has triggered this change. Nicole mentioned that sometimes strong emotions bring Joker out. Is it possible that the incident at the hardware store did it?

“I should have done something earlier, when that guy cut me off in line.” Arthur’s eyes narrow. “Did you see how he didn’t fuck with you because you’re a giant?”

Anton tries not to laugh. “I’m not a giant, and why waste energy on that guy? He’s out of our lives, brother.”

He doesn’t mention that the guy was a fool. Anton might be bigger than Arthur, but he’s less apt to react violently. At the time, Anton wasn’t certain if he’d been protecting Arthur from the redhead, or the redhead from Arthur. He’s glad they didn’t have to find out. 

“You’re sure you want a brother like me?” Joker’s eyes glimmer. “The _new_ me.”

Anton studies him carefully.

“See,” Joker scoffs, but Anton doesn’t miss the pain beneath the haughty surface of his eyes. “I’m right. No one wants a brother like me. You know what, Little Creek? I really don’t care.” He shrugs again and lowers his long lashes.

“You misread my silence, brother. I was thinking about how to tell you that I understand.”

Joker rolls his eyes and laughs--a high-pitched, hawk-like sound. He pushes past Anton and strides toward their workspace. “What do you understand?”

“You’re not new.”

Joker spins, his smile fading and his green eyes jabbing Anton’s soul. He’s full of so many emotions. Joy and pain mingle and twist. He’s been beaten down, banished, locked in the prison of his mind for so long that it’s no wonder he has trouble emerging without a protective mask, now that he’s finally free.

“Not. . .new?” Joker repeats softly. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve always been here,” Anton says. “You’ve just been silenced.”

Green eyes flicker. Joker swallows visibly. “How do you know that?”

“You know what I do, brother. I see souls. I see you.”

They’re both silent for a moment. Again Joker lowers his gaze and swallows. His breathing quickens and he briefly squeezes his eyes shut. Anton has said enough for the moment. It’s Arthur’s turn to process it and respond. 

“I wanted that.” Joker opens his eyes again and stares at Anton. “To be seen. I wrote it down. I thought it would never happen. Then I met you and Nicole.”

Anton steps toward him and rests his hands on Joker’s shoulders. His protruding bones bite into Anton’s palms. He tenses, but Anton rubs gently with his thumbs until the tightness releases. 

“If this is me, then where did that other part come from?”

“That’s you, too. Everyone evolves. We find our way.” Anton holds Joker’s gaze. The shimmer in his eyes fades to a spark.

“Thanks,” Arthur’s voice is just above a whisper. It cracks a little. “Thanks for staying.”

Anton smiles and pulls Arthur into a hug. Arthur’s wiry arms wind around him. For a moment his embrace is almost painfully tight.

They step apart.

“Let’s get this partition up.” Anton picks up a hammer and walks across the room.

“Okay.” Arthur joins him, his expression calm, but every now and then there’s a far-off look in his eyes.

This unexpected encounter with Arthur’s alter ego has turned out to be a relief. Anton has been anticipating it more than he realized. While he hadn’t been wrong about Joker’s underlying volatility, meeting him firsthand has revealed other things as well. He has the potential to become the monster Arthur feared, but he is capable of so many good things, too. He wants love every bit as much as Arthur, but he’ll handle the lack of it differently. He’s Arthur’s spirit. He thought Anton wouldn’t like him because for so long the world sent him into hiding. He’s survived, and he’s Arthur, Anton’s friend. His soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of this story is finished, but I'm still making some edits after getting feedback. Here's the summary, though:
> 
> Arthur learns that Anton isn't easygoing all the time, and sometimes even honest people lie to themselves.


	2. Part 2: Misconceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While reflecting on his own past, Arthur learns that Anton isn't easygoing all the time, and sometimes even honest people lie to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a few months after chapter twenty-six of Loners By Design.

Anton Little Creek is the first man to touch Arthur without violent intent--at least as far back as Arthur can remember.

Throughout his life, Arthur has been the victim of violence and bullying. Even when he’d been committed, hospital staff, including doctors, had been rough with him. Of course they were probably burned out from dealing with so many mentally ill peop--

No. Most of them were assholes. Arthur has recently given up making excuses for people who mistreat him. He used to do it all the time, but he’s done with that now.

He still doesn’t recall much about his childhood, but lately more memories have surfaced. His earliest one is abuse at the hands of his mother’s boyfriend. 

So, yes, after a lifetime of violent interactions with men, Anton was the first to hug him--the first who touched him without making him flinch, flee, or raise his hand in self-defense. The first he didn’t imagine bludgeoning to death.

Anton is the first man to make him feel safe.

They met around the same time as Arthur found the love of his life, Nicole. She’s his partner in business and pleasure. She’s his best friend, his lover--his family. She understands and encourages the deep friendship between him and Anton.

Sometimes there are things he can’t share with her. Things that might upset her or even things that frighten and embarrass him. He can confide in Anton about those things.

Anton is one of the kindest, gentlest people Arthur has ever known, but he’s also one of the strongest. He understands darkness without surrendering to it. In the relatively short time they’ve known each other, he has guided Arthur through some dangerous moments.

In his whole life, Arthur has loved just three people. First, his mother, Penny. Sadly, that was a toxic love. She’d damaged him in ways he still can’t fully grasp. He hasn’t seen her in months and might never see her again. Right now, he can’t handle it. He’s started to get his life together and he won’t allow her to ruin it.

The second person he’s loved is Nicole. She saved him in so many ways, but she tells him that he saved her, too. Maybe in a way, it’s true. All he knows is that no matter what, even when they argue, Nicole loves him back and only wants what’s best for him. All his life he dreamed about having someone who belongs to him and someone he belongs to. Having Nicole is better than any fantasy he created during long nights when he couldn’t sleep.

The third person he’s loved is Anton. Having a male friend had never been part of his fantasies. He used to dream about father figures. All he got from the man who might be his biological father is a bloody nose. Fuck Thomas Wayne. Arthur doesn’t need him after all. Nicole’s parents have been more like a father and mother to him than his own ever were. Arthur has a family now, and that family includes Anton. 

Arthur can never repay him for all his help, especially with understanding Joker--his dark side. Anton doesn’t believe Joker is evil. He knows he’s capable of violence, but also humor and passion. He knows Joker came first and was silenced by a vicious world of ignorance and abuse. Joker also gave Arthur the will to survive. He’s been hurt, and he can be hurtful, too, but Anton has embraced Joker and encourages Arthur to do the same. Joker is powerful, and Arthur is responsible for that power. Anton believes Arthur is capable of great things, and maybe because of that faith, Arthur is starting to believe it, too.

At the moment, Arthur has just finished a sign spinning gig at a store not far from Clinica Sanando, so he decides to stop by to say hello to Anton. When he approaches, Anton is outside on a ladder, touching up the paint on the clinica’s sign. His full attention isn’t on his work, though. He keeps glancing toward the sidewalk where a pretty blond woman is engaged in deep conversation with a tall, good-looking, dark-haired man. Christina Holt and Dr. Zeke Barnes. Zeke works at the clinica and is a nice guy. Christina is the sister of Dr. Michael Holt, owner of Holt Neuro, where Nicole works in housekeeping. Arthur has seen her around the clinica a lot, since she not only volunteers, but is a good friend of Anton. They’d been lovers at one time, and Arthur thinks that Anton wishes they were again. Even now, it’s obvious by the way Anton stares at her. When she leans closer to Zeke and gives him a quick hug, there’s no missing the change in Anton’s usually pleasant expression. For a second or two, he looks almost angry.

“Anton, hey,” Arthur says, pausing near the ladder and tilting his gaze up toward his friend.

Anton turns to him so sharply that he nearly falls off the ladder.

“Hey! Be careful over there. I don’t need to have you as a patient, too,” Zeke calls.

“I can think of better things to do,” Anton replies in an uncharacteristically dry tone.

Zeke turns his attention back to Christina and smiles. “I have to get back inside. We’ll talk more about it later.”

“Okay.” She kisses his cheek. 

Anton’s expression tightens again and he climbs down from the ladder and folds it. “What brings you here today, brother Arthur?”

Arthur has gotten better at reading clues from people, especially those he cares about. He guesses something is bothering Anton. He wants to help, but he’s not exactly sure how to bring it up.

“I had a gig up the street and thought I’d say hi. Looks like you’re pretty busy, though.”

“It’s actually my day off, but the sign needed to be done. I have to get this stuff back to the supply closet.”

“I’ll help you.” Arthur picks up the paint bucket and brush while Anton hoists the ladder onto his shoulder.

He follows Anton inside, but halfway to the supply closet, Zeke sticks his head out of the clinica’s pharmacy and calls, “Hey, Arthur. You got a second?”

Arthur glances at the doctor. “Sure.” 

While Anton continues toward the closet, not even glancing at Zeke, Arthur approaches the doctor. 

“Christina was just here to talk about the final details for Anton’s party tomorrow,” Zeke says softly, even though Anton is out of earshot. “Is everything ready from your end? You’re still okay taking care of the decorations?”

“Yeah. Nicole is off work and she’s going to help. Have you guys figured out how to keep Anton out of the break room?”

Zeke grins. “Don’t worry. We’ve got that covered. Gotta get back to work. See you tomorrow.”

Arthur nods and continues to the janitor’s closet. Anton isn’t there, but the ladder is back in its place. After putting the paint away, Arthur wanders to the wellness room. When he’s not busy fixing something, Anton is usually there.

The wellness room is where Anton helps people center themselves and focus on their spiritual wellbeing. Before meeting Anton, Arthur knew nothing about that stuff--at least he wasn’t aware of it. Anton says Arthur is more in touch with his spiritual side than most people, but Arthur isn’t quite sure about that. 

In the wellness room, Anton stands in the middle of the floor in a one-legged yoga pose, but he’s unsteady, his brow furrowed in concentration. He stumbles out of the pose, and grunts in frustration.

“Are you okay?” Arthur asks softly.

Anton glances at him and shakes his head. “I’m not very good company right now.”

“It’s okay. I know _I’m_ not always good company.”

“I’m feeling all this negative energy, but I don’t know where it’s coming from.”

“Maybe. . .” Arthur’s voice drifts off. What business does he have giving advice to a shaman?

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just. . .”

Anton draws a deep breath and releases it slowly. He meets Arthur’s gaze. “If you have something to say, just go ahead.”

“Maybe the negative energy is coming from the inside. I mean, sometimes I feel that way for no reason, or a reason I don’t understand. My journal helps with that. Not always, but it helps me sort things out.”

“I don’t know. I have no reason to feel like this. I can’t let this control me. I have to let it go.” Anton closes his eyes, but he looks anything but calm.

Arthur has never been afraid of Anton. Right now he’s not exactly scared, but he’s uncertain. Anton is the guy everyone goes to for comfort and a pep talk, but he’s a person, too. Arthur knows all about having good and bad days. Anton has always been there for him, and all he wants now is to help his friend.

“I have an idea,” Arthur says in a small voice. Maybe it’s stupid. Anton isn’t like most people, and he’s definitely not like Arthur. Why would this even work for him?

Anton opens his hazel eyes and holds Arthur’s gaze. “What is it?”

“I know you're against violence, but sometimes when I’m really frustrated, it feels good to hit something. There were times when I used to go into an ally and kick the crap out of garbage bags.”

Anton smiles. At least that’s something. “Did it help?”

“Sometimes it tired me out enough to feel less angry.”

“Violence isn’t my style.”

“They were only garbage bags.”

Anton shakes his head, his smile fading.

“How about a workout then?” Arthur suggests. “Nicole swears exercise is the best thing to get rid of anxiety, and she’s an expert on it. You said it’s your day off. I don’t have any other gigs today. Come on.”

Anton nods. “All right. Maybe it’s a good idea. Physical release is good for mental wellbeing.”

They leave the clinica and take the bus to Arthur’s place. He and Nicole share a house with her parents. They have a home gym in the attic, complete with a heavy bag. Nicole enjoys boxing workouts, and lately Arthur has gotten into it, too. It’s better than kicking garbage bags.

After they warm up, Arthur lets Anton hit the bag first. He really needs it. Once he gets into it, Arthur can’t help feeling a little wary. Anton’s big, in great shape, and soon has the bag swinging. Arthur holds it for him, which isn’t the brightest idea. After a few shots, Arthur is practically swinging with the bag.

“No.” Anton stops abruptly and turns away, shaking his head. “This isn’t right.”

“Why?” Arthur asks. “You’re good at this.”

Spinning, Anton glares and runs a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. “That’s not a good thing. I’m--like I said. Violence is never the answer.”

“But it’s just a bag. It’s not like you’re hitting a real person.”

“You don’t know what I’m seeing when I’m punching it.” Anton closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them, its easy to see that he’s ashamed and angry at himself.

“You’re pretending it’s somebody. That’s okay. When I kicked the garbage bags, I used to pretend it was my old boss, Hoyt. It made me feel better.”

“I don’t want to direct this kind of anger toward someone, especially if that someone is basically a good person.”

Arthur studies him carefully. He’s probably wrong about this. Arthur is usually wrong about everything, but something tells him--“Is it Dr. Zeke? Are you mad at him because he was talking to Christina today?”

A look of utter shock passes over Anton’s face. Then a sad smile tugs at his lips. “You don’t miss much, do you, brother? It doesn’t make sense. I have no reason to feel this way.”

“Didn’t Zeke and Christina used to date?”

“Briefly. They’re friends now. Like me and Christina.”

“But you and she were--”

“Lovers. Long ago.”

“Do you still love her?”

Anton smiles, but it’s not his real smile. Arthur knows the difference between a genuine smile and a fake one. He and Joker are experts on it.

“Of course I love her. I’ll always love Christina, but it’s no longer romantic love.”

“Really?”

“If by chance Christina and Zeke are exploring a romantic relationship again, then I wish them well. As long as he’s gentle and respects her. That’s all that matters to me.”

So Arthur is right. Anton still loves Christina, but for some reason he doesn’t want to admit it. Or maybe he can’t because he doesn’t want to deal with rejection. Not that he’ll even _be_ rejected. Arthur knows for a fact that Zeke and Christina were talking about Anton’s party today. Everyone at the clinica is in on it, and they asked Arthur to help because he’s not only Anton’s friend, but a professional party clown. Who better to put in charge of decorations?

Arthur wishes he could tell Anton what Zeke and Christina were talking about, but he can’t without ruining the surprise.

“Arthur, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay.”

“I think all this physical activity is a good idea, though. It’s cleansing. Do you swim?”

“Yeah.”

This time Anton’s smile is real.

A short time later, Anton and Arthur are in swimsuits, diving into the pool at a local gym where Anton has a membership. Right now they’re surprisingly the only ones at the pool. 

Anton is a strong swimmer, but Arthur is just okay at it. 

“My uncle taught me how to swim,” Anton says with a smile after they’ve finished laps and linger by the side of the pool. He holds Arthur’s gaze, his hazel eyes once again calm and gentle. “It was at a lake upstate. I remember being a little afraid at first, but he stayed beside me the whole time. Once I learned how, there was no keeping me out of the water.”

Arthur smiles slightly. “I learned at a boys’ club while I was at a foster home. Penny was in the hospital at the time. I was afraid of the water, too. I remember hanging onto the side of the pool the whole time. The counselor finally gave up on me. Afterward, when all us kids were standing outside the pool, one of the bigger kids shoved me in the deep end. The counselor wasn’t around to help, so it was either swim or drown. That’s how I finally learned to swim.”

Anton’s smile fades. “Such a rough life for a gentle soul.”

“I’m not so gentle.” Arthur lowers his gaze. A scar on Anton's chest catches his eye. It's a bullet wound. Anton told him about the incident, how a distraught woman had held him, Zeke, Dr. Kate Sykora, Dr. Michael Holt, and a patient hostage at the clinica. He'd faced death that night, but survived due to the medical skills of his friends. Christina had arrived as they were taking Anton out on a gurney. She'd ridden with him on the ambulance and never left his side. Arthur knows how much that meant to Anton.

“Yes you are, but that doesn’t mean you’re weak, Arthur. Thanks for that story. Swim or drown.” Anton’s voice grows softer, like he’s thinking out loud. “If you had the courage to do that, then maybe it’s time I found the courage to admit something that I’ve been denying for too long.”

Arthur’s brow furrows in question. “What?”

“You’re right about my feelings for Christina.”

“Why don’t you tell her?” 

“Because we haven’t been together in that way in a long time. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by making her feel trapped. Part of loving someone is knowing when they need to be free.”

“What if she feels the same way?” Arthur can’t believe a man like Anton has a problem like this. He’s good looking, confident, and a great guy. He can’t imagine him hesitating to let a woman know how he feels. 

Arthur gets it, though. He’d been terrified of scaring Nicole off when they’d first met, but eventually he had to tell her the truth, and he’s glad he did. They have a beautiful life together and soon they’ll be married. Him. Arthur Fleck. Engaged. Sometimes he still wonders if he isn’t imagining it, but every day Nicole proves to him their love is real. 

“What if she doesn’t?” Anton says.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Again Anton smiles slightly and nods. “You’re right.”

* * *

The following afternoon, Arthur and Nicole decorate the break room at the clinica with bright paper streamers. They hang a sign that says _Happy Anniversary_. Arthur twists balloons into a variety of shapes. Christina smuggles in food--fruit salad, black bean burgers, sweet potato chips, and a vegan cake. 

At the right time, they silence volunteers, workers, and friends who have gathered for the party.

“Just come this way. One of the chairs in the break room is broken. I nearly fell on my butt this morning,” Zeke says in a loud voice. It’s a ruse to get Anton to the party.

"Didn't you say Dr. Kate is having a meeting in there this afternoon?"

"It's over now."

Zeke and Anton step inside and everyone shouts, “Happy anniversary!”

It’s been five years since Anton created the wellness room at the clinica.

Anton looks surprised. He grins and Zeke claps him on the shoulder. “Happy anniversary, man. This place wouldn’t be the same without ya.”

“Thanks, brother Zeke.”

“See, Christina, and you were worried we wouldn’t be able to pull this off,” Zeke says. 

“Is that what you two were talking about yesterday?” Anton asks.

“Uh huh.” Christina steps toward Anton and hugs him tight. 

Anton holds her at arm's length, meeting her gaze. "Can we talk later? There’s something I really need to tell you.”

“Yes. Of course.” Christina smiles at him, warmth in her blue eyes. Arthur knows that look. It’s how Nicole looks at him. 

Speaking of Nicole, she’s standing beside him right now, offering him a fat strawberry from her cup of fruit salad. Arthur takes it, playfully nibbling her fingers. He slips an arm around her.

“Thanks for your help with the decorations, you guys.” Christina smiles at Arthur and Nicole. Anton stands behind her, his hands on her shoulders.

“Any time,” Arthur says.

“Hey, Nicole, want to help me serve the cake?” Christina asks.

She and Nicole walk to the refreshment table.

Anton steps closer to Arthur and holds his gaze. “I’m taking your advice.”

“Good luck.”

“The truth is usually best. I almost forgot that, brother. Thank you for reminding me.”

* * *

That night, while Nicole is asleep, Arthur reflects on seeing a side of Anton he hadn’t expected. In his journal, he writes:

_I guess that’s the beauty of ~~reel~~ real friend-ship. Knowing theirs someone who’ll follow you to a dark place with a flash-lite to gide you out._

  
The End


End file.
